Carolyn hax online dating
That's the old I'm-not-a-racist-but-everyone-else-is dodge. I mean, you've had over 20 years with the guy; I find it hard to believe there's been no indication this was coming.
At the same time, though, one's own children and their choices can test our beliefs with a force that little else can. You have to do better than "because they are" if you want him to do better than "uncomfortable feelings." Ask him how he'd feel if a woman's parents saw your son as an inferior match for their daughter based on his skin color alone.
Dear Carolyn: My husband is uncomfortable with our 20-year-old white son dating a black woman.
When he asks why his feelings are wrong, what can I say besides, "Because they are? His view is immoral on its face to anyone who believes foremost that humans of all shapes, sizes and colors are of equal worth and deserve to be *reflexively* accepted and treated as such. Is he worried this choice will make your son's life harder? Or is he just a freestanding bigot and circumstances never lined up in a way that revealed this to you before?
I've never seen her jealous before, and don't know quite how to handle it.
She's now acting like an 18-year-old who doesn't understand that you don't change who you are to fit the guy."Be honest about yourself and what you believe — it's always better than guessing what he wants or playing games to get what you want."What does the guy want?"He wants to know who you are, so be yourself, and hope he does you the same favor." Patiently remind her to be patient with the sorting-out process. When she doesn't ask, and when you're weary of her man-ologuing, your best bet is to steer the conversation elsewhere ...I know people don't always "click," but I guess I'm more afraid to find out that I've got this character flaw that I've never realized.-- Baltimore I'm as fond of self-flagellation as the next person, especially when that self isn't me, but I think you've made a great case for a cease-flog. Judging him in person isn't shallow, it's smart; mating is emotional, intellectual and physical. Besides, given the way reality tends to get the last word, especially in relationships, you might as well be realistic.